In this episode of Pushing Back Chaos, hosts Paul Mellon McFadden and Mike explore the powerful “Be-Do-Have” framework for personal growth and achievement. This approach flips the script on how most people pursue their goals, offering a transformative alternative that starts with who we are at our core.
The Power of Being: A New Perspective on Achievement
Most of us operate on a “Have-Do-Be” model: “If I had more money, then I could do what I love, and finally be happy.” This mindset puts our desired outcomes at the mercy of external circumstances, leaving us waiting for the right conditions to arise.
The Be-Do-Have framework challenges us to start with our state of being, which then naturally leads to aligned actions and, ultimately, the results we desire. It’s a subtle shift in perspective that can yield profound changes in how we approach our goals and live our lives.
The Integrity Foundation: Clearing the Path for Authentic Being
At the heart of this transformative approach lies a crucial first step: integrity. Before we can authentically embody the qualities we aspire to, we must first address the areas in our lives where we’ve fallen short of our commitments or values.
This process of restoring integrity isn’t about perfection or self-flagellation. Instead, it’s about honest self-reflection and taking responsibility for our words and actions. By clearing up past breakdowns and recommitting to our values, we create a solid foundation from which to grow and achieve.
The Power of Authentic Being: Embodying Your Aspirations
Once we’ve established this foundation of integrity, we can begin to explore who we truly want to be in various areas of our lives. This isn’t about putting on a facade or pretending to be someone we’re not. It’s about tapping into our authentic selves and embodying the qualities that align with our deepest values and aspirations.
For example, if you aspire to be a great leader, start by asking yourself: “What qualities would a great leader embody in this situation?” Then, focus on being those qualities, rather than simply trying to do leadership activities or waiting to have a leadership title.
Challenges and Practical Advice
The hosts acknowledge that this approach isn’t without its challenges. Our egos often resist the vulnerability required to acknowledge our shortcomings and commit to change. We may find ourselves slipping back into old patterns of thinking or behavior.
Some practical strategies to help stay on track include:
1. Regular self-reflection
2. Seeking accountability from trusted friends or mentors
3. Practicing patience with yourself
4. Focusing on the present moment
5. Embracing discomfort as a sign of growth
Real-Life Application: A Story of Transformation
Mike shares a powerful story about his niece’s boyfriend, a young man facing significant challenges in his personal and professional life. By helping him gain clarity on his core values and motivations, Mike guided him to approach a job interview from a place of authenticity and purpose. The result was not only a successful job offer but also a profound shift in the young man’s self-perception and confidence.
Conclusion: The Journey of Becoming
The Be-Do-Have framework offers a powerful alternative to conventional approaches to goal-setting and personal growth. By starting with our state of being, we create a solid foundation for authentic action and lasting results.
Remember, the key is not to wait for perfect conditions or to force ourselves into roles that don’t align with our true selves. Instead, we’re called to embody the qualities we aspire to, right here and now. This approach allows us to live with greater integrity, purpose, and fulfillment, regardless of external circumstances.
As you reflect on this episode, consider:
– What areas of your life could benefit from a shift in focus from having to being?
– How might restoring integrity in your life create new opportunities for growth and success?
– What qualities do you need to embody to achieve your most important goals?
The hosts encourage listeners to share the podcast with others who might benefit from these insights, leave reviews, and reach out with any questions or topics they’d like to see covered in future episodes.
Ep: 089 – Identity → Actions → Outcomes
